A constant inspiration

When I was young I had many heroes.  I still have a few, not so many in my cynical old age but a few.

 There are a great many  brave people who I admire and respect. All the rescue services, who put their own lives in danger to rescue those in peril on sea and land. There are  those who protect us in many fields and often lose their lives in the doing.

 There are the so-called ‘ordinary’ people who battle against odds that would floor us, those that endure famine, earthquake and other disasters.  Life is full of bravery.  I will have missed so many but today I want to tell of my own home grown hero, someone whose courage leaves me slack-jawed in awe.

 My sister.  Some of you will know she is embarking on training with a new guide dog.  It is not her first; she has been through 16 years of guide dogs.  So what’s the big deal then? You may ask.  Well this time around is different, this time there is no sight to help.  There is very little hearing to aid.

 She has always had a hearing problem and when we were children it was my job to protect her from bullying.  She was my older sister and I resented that she wasn’t looking after me.  I resented that she seemed to get more attention than me.  Selfish? Yes. What are small children but self-contained bundles of self survival, and that equals selfishness. Until empathy has developed selfish is a child.  I didn’t actually know her very well as she was sent away, to a special boarding school, when I was a toddler, so holidays were all the time we had.  It was as adults we became friends.  As adults I became to appreciate her more.

 Her sight has relentlessly deteriorated over the years.  Through it all she has smiled.  She has worked and earned her own living, she has travelled half way across the world to live in a foreign land for four years.  She has had fun, made friends and enjoyed her life. She eventually had to learn how to use a cane to get around, then she had to give up employment. Finally her sight became such that a guide dog was deemed best.  They gave her another lease of life as she approached retirement age.

 This time around though, what little sight she had when first she trained with the dogs, has vanished.  Gone. Nothing. Now, with one step in the 7^th decade doorway, she trains with her new dog in complete nothingness.  Each day I watch as she leaves the house, with a smile, determined to win, back straight, head up. If the day goes badly I hold her hand and tell her all will be well.  She sleeps in utter exhaustion each night and the next day she leaves with a smile, back straight, head high and begins again.

 She doesn’t have to do this.  No judgement call if she decides enough is enough.  She could sit in the relative safety of her home and go out when others can take her. Has she even considered it?  I doubt it. Life is for living.

 I am sure that confronted with nothing, I would not be able to trust myself out there amongst the people and the traffic.  Trust myself on kerbs and around obstacles that abound, connected only to a dog, however marvellous the dog is.  I would be terrified.  Is my sister terrified? I don’t know, she would never say.  However depressing the training may have been, within a couple of hours she is smiling again and re-playing the mistakes to correct them before the next day. I am not a fan of the word but today I say Awesome!  She has so much courage.  She is my hero.

 Of course this is not just about my sister, this about all those millions who do not choose a life of  such challenges but nevertheless have them, who do not confront each day of difficulty because an adrenalin rush fuels them. This is aboutthose, you may be one, or you maybe know them, who wake each morning and ‘live well’ despite every obstacle thrown at them.

 This is an awestruck old lady writing who says, ‘I don’t know how you do it, but you are, all of you, especially my sister, a constant inspiration’.

Alberta’s Life List

I have found ROW80 such a help in getting my writing goals achieved that I am now listing some goals for the coming year.  Inspired my Jenny Handsen and her Life Goals.  I am going to list mine for the coming 12 months.  Hopefully I can achieve them all but there again that depends on Life!  When one is galloping towards the 7th decade of living, life is slightly different ones  perspectives change, expectations in the matter of health and longitude are more dependant on the obituary column!  I completed all my life ambitions by the time I was in my 40s and had to invent a couple more.  Since then apart from ROW80 I have not made any goals for myself.  Time to get back into planning life as opposed to drifting:)  Thanks Jenny.

My Life List

1)  Continue with my list for ROW80 goals for writing

2)  Complete the writing of my childhood memories and print: this is all the pieces I have written in my Living History Group – the print is not for public consumption.

3)  Sort and file (for Archives) all the papers/ photos of the family (there are hundreds)

4)  Finish semi taming the wild part of the garden –which I am turning into mini orchard

5)  Finish at least 6 of my WIP in my craft room!

6)  Practise drawing at least twice a week, I’m not good but would like to be adequate.

7 & 8)  Increase mobility exercises and to this end also practise the keyboard at least four times a week you never know I may become a pianist as well.

9)  Increase cardio exercise

10)  Make a start /finish the mosaic I planned for my shower – it’s been 10 years since I conceived the idea:(

11)  Make a start/finish the stencil decorations on cupboards same amount of time as above:(

12)  Sort out books and find good homes for the unwanted ones (this is a major headache of a task, as the books I have bought and inherited number in their thousands!!

13)  Read fiction every day – I already read a great deal of non fiction as I research.

14)  Learn one new thing a day – however small

15)  Master at least one new skill on the computer

16)  Allow more time to contemplate, to include the philosophy and ethics of modern-day living

17)  Continue to take workshops/read /practice and try to  get the hang of rules of good writing in to my head:) – show those school teachers of old!

18)  Print of and edit all my blogs for a book of essays to print to go with childhood memories

19)   Re-paint all window cills/garden furniture/ fences (when needed)

20)  Last, but certainly not least, find some fun every day

Vanishing Vocabulary

I am beginning this topic of vanishing vocabulary because, in nearly 7 decades of listening and reading words, I have seen many words change, or just leave the party with no farewell.  There is also the added excitement of joining the community up here in cyberspace and seeing constantly what I noticed, now and then, in my travels, the amazing differences in English around the world.

When I made a book trailer for the Sefuty Chronicles, at the end of last year and posted it on my blog, for readers to comment, I was astonished at how so many had misunderstood one word in the blurb for one of the books.  The confusion caused by this one word puzzled me, and set me on a very small quest to find out, if I could, whether it was a nationality thing or a generational one.

Of course I should not have been astonished.  For goodness sake, I am old enough to know language changes.  Indeed I have heard not only my parents but my grandparents stand on their soap boxes, declaiming the demise of the English tongue: have enjoyed heckling them as diehards.  ‘Latin is unchanging.’ I would say. ‘That is why it is called a dead language!; our glorious tongue-‘ I was much given to histrionics when young! – ‘is vibrantly alive, it changes like quicksilver; loosen up.’ I said.  So sure I was in there on the cutting edge of change – happy to leave fuddy duddy mustiness behind.

Well, of course, I am now their age and find my English changed beyond belief, (I am supposed to use tremendously here, instead of beyond belief, if I respect Microsoft spell check!) and I mostly revel in all the new words, the excitement of the new has never really left, but, some losses I do mourn, I posted on one the other day.  But this word, I had never expected. I should have done, the world it belongs to is fast vanishing and so the relevance to the young is also vanishing.  I need the word for it precise specificness.

I wrote. . .  love  and friendship founder.  Okay maybe not the best grammar around – hey it was a blurb!  Stumbled then was the word, as readers wondered what it meant in that context.

I looked it up to check. There are various meanings to the word FOUNDER

1) One meaning, the one, which most of my readers picked, was as the original builder of anything, therefore; an institution, a group, business, a family line – the person who establishes

2) Then there is a person who casts metals.  I haven’t heard this meaning used much in everyday parlance, but was aware of it.

3)  Then to founder meaning to knock to the ground, cause to fall from such as fatigue or shock,

to cause a ship to fill with water and sink,

 a structure to collapse or give way,

 a plan, hope, relationship to come to grief

This last meaning of the word was commonplace as I was growing up.  In my youth ships did still founder, with depressing regularity, the Second World War where thousands had gone down had just finished, my grandmothers lived with us and their personal history was littered with shipwrecks, merchant seamen in every generation it seems!

The stories I grew up with, real or fiction, often had ships foundering, the poetry I learnt at school was full of wrecks and drowned seamen.  Founder was one of my words, as unchangeable as the rocks that caused it.  Actually, of course, even rocks vanish into sand in time!

In Jack’s Tale love and friendships were threatened by the sharp realities of war. The very core (the backbone of a ship) of relationships threatened to break asunder (is asunder still used I wonder?) to break apart (in case it isn’t:) under the strain.  I needed foundered.  I needed to rewrite the sentence.

It seems to be more of a generational problem; a higher proportion of readers and friends understood it from my generation than those younger.  Is founder going to be one of my vanishing words? I do hope not but. . .

Did I make the goal post?

Well I made some of them – with a sudden loss of creative time this last month I had to slow down but I am still pleased with end results.

My Goals for this round were

More time for me and other occupations – cut down writing time to no more than 5/6 hours a day and only for 5 days a week -  DONE

Get first of e=book short stories out still polishing so -  NO

Complete Blue Moon ready for editing in March in NaNoEdMo well -yes, so DONE however have changed my mind about it and am expanding and making denser- not for publication till next year!

Start research for Ancestor’s Tale ready for starting it in May -  DONE

Blog more often on 4 blogs -  DONE

Network more often, joined Indie Exchange and Novel Publications and 2 tribes to aid this -  DONE

Finish Ellen’s Tale trailer, not quite finished so -  NO

Begin research for creation myth (NaNoWrMo) – DONE

Read more fiction – joined many reading challenges and read 100 +pages each day – DONE

Exercise more – up to 30 mins walk x4 days and 60 min walk x 2 days (not fast but improving!  – DONE

so as I say – quite pleased.

I hope everyone else is satisfied with the round and hope to see you all next round – have happy hols.

Help please with Parallelism! Alberta’s check in

I need some advice/help please.  For NaNo this year I had decided to write a creation story.  I have started experimenting on the form it will take, in a workshop, on World Building, I am doing.  Have tried both an old fashioned narrative form and verse form.

Now I don’t write poetry, this isn’t exactly poetry, but it will be sort of based on what I understand is ‘parallelism and repetition’.  Example from a book of Sumerian story of Inana

In the first days, in the very first days,

In the first nights, in the very first nights,

In the first years, in the very first years,

In the first days when everything needed was brought into being,

In the first days when everything needed was properly nourished,

(D.Wolkstein & S N Kramer: Inanna: Queen of Heaven and Earth)

Do any of you poets out there understand the form, have studied it or can recommend any books/sites on the form that I could research before NaNo. I like both the narrative and the verse and think I could combine the two.  I have many examples of narrative creation storytelling at home here but not of the verse form.  It is an ancient devise I believe, have read that ancient Hebrew and Sumerian texts often used the form, I think it will suit a creation story.  Anyone? Please.

This has been a week of no writing to speak of as we have been having a ‘writers block’ type of week with my sister.  Her training with new guide dog hit a sticky patch and three consecutive ‘bad’ days knocked not only her (bruises to show) but her confidence.  Very down she was and lot of ROW80 encouragement was needed.  The trainer and I spent a lot of time telling her it only needed tweaking- and between the three of us we have taken the red pencil to her old routes, streamlined them to remove as many potential hazards as possible, re- thought the length of time required and chopped the training into smaller chunks.  Reassured her on a couple of concerns causing extra anxietty, and, with Fridays training session being  almost flawless we finished the week exhausted but smiling:)

The problem is, as I have said before, she has no sight at all now (she did have some when she trained previously) but with being deaf as well, her orientation is very shaky – one step off the straight and she has the potential to be lost.  The retired dog of course knew the way and could help but this new one, although he tries so hard, doesn’t yet know the routes.  I knew it would be very hard this time but I’m not sure my sister realised how shaky her sense of location is.

Both of us were brought up understanding we could achieve anything we really wanted to do.  For the most part we have.  There comes a time though when we have to accept that age is robbing us of that ability.  I think my re-organising of life lately to accommodate my wrists has helped my sister to accept she can no longer walk wherever she wants any more.  We both have to come to terms with increasing restrictions. She is rested. Recovered from her bruises and ready to do another week. Fingers crossed for this coming week please.

I have managed to keep up with editing in the evenings – I had got muddled with NaNoEdMo- kept thinking had to edit 50,000 words but of course its edit for 50 hours – easy! Am well up at 30 hours this month so far.  However, while I have been doing so have had a major rethink of Blue Moon.  I have decided not to go for publication this year; I want to make it a denser book, with more character, more thought.  A slower paced story. More layered.  Very pleased with the new direction.  I still need to edit what has already been written, it will form a solid core.

Nothing much else done – been trying to keep up with the networking but apart from a quick rant on word police! and a  review not achieved any blogging.  Ah well there’s always another day:)

I hope everyone has had a good week.