There have been scarier places. When mission doctors deliver the news that there is a distinct possibility the dog that bit has rabies
There have been more uncomfortable places. November cold, wet fields with multiple broken bones.
There have been lonelier places. Adrift as a child in a crowded department store with no inkling as to where a mother’s safety lay.
When I opened my eyes last Monday morning, time approximately 2.a.m.,focusing on the subtle pattern of the lino beneath my face and gradually making sense of it all, life did seem a scary, lonely and after a while uncomfortable place to be.
I had had to abruptly withdraw from all things reading and writing on the Thursday as I went quickly down with a developing cough. I have a weak chest I know, it goes with a lifelong throat weakness. Sometimes though it can be hay fever.
My hay fever appears in the colder months as it is fungus and mould that I am allergic to. But by Saturday it was apparent to me I had another chest infection, which was a pain, but nothing more! I barely kept up with networking and forget anything creative. By Sunday I felt ill, as opposed to unwell. With shivering sweats and crashing headaches. All one can do is feel sorry for self and go to bed! I did, I know when I’m beat.
During the night I remember feeling sick and heading to the utility room for a bowl, I vaguely remember feeling light headed and leaning on the kitchen top, aware that I must find a safe place to sit or lie ASAP.
Then I was waking up on the other side of the kitchen flat on my face. I lost some time, between events, somewhere:(
I was surprised how comfortable I felt, all things considered. I was surprised how calmly I took the realization I was on the floor. An everyday occurrence one would think. I drifted in and out of sleep as my brain began to wake up.
Check. Okay. I stuck out my tongue, raised my arms above my head, smiled and checked each side of my face as I did. I spoke aloud, I understood, would I understand if speech was slurred – interesting point. I decided I had not had a stroke, heart attack or fit. I mentally checked limbs and wriggled relevant parts. No broken bits as far as I was aware. Just a faint then.
Not too bad. Now to get up. Yes . Well. It was easier to lie there. Movement brought on the cold sweats and nausea again and frankly I am, without any thought of PC language, an overweight, unfit, elderly lady with the added joy of arthritis in my wrists and hands, don’t forget an ankle either. I was flat on my face. Getting up and back to bed was going to prove a long interesting progression of laugh out loud moments with younger cat encouraging from the sidelines:)
I managed eventually to get on my side, on my backside. Long pause then. Arguing with myself the relative merits of staying where I was, half undressed, on the kitchen floor and finding somewhere warmer to finish the night. The floor was tempting, after all, I argued, I wasn’t actually feeling cold. In fact it was quite blissful after the day to feel cool. Hypothermia my boringly sensible half clucked, always feel warm in a snow drift. What!?
Once on my knees I crawled to the nearest sofa for a half way break. Curling up under an afghan blanket I had neglected to fold up and put in its proper place Yay for an untidy soul!! There I dozed some more until eventually I tottered back to bed to sleep the rest of the night away.
More and more as we age we are aware of those instant moments that cannot be guarded against that have the potential to change time. This time I was lucky, next time who knows. It’s life and so must be accepted. Being fitter, being lighter would all have aided the rising to upright but would not necessarily have prevented the faint. Having a thermometer might have alerted me to how high my temperature had been rising (I have one now!) but I still might have had to get out of bed. It’s the speed of potential disaster which is unguardable.
The little red pills have kicked in now, although it has taken a week before I can manage life for more than 2 hours at a time. It has not been a creative week, rather a frustrating one because I am not a good patient and there is so much I want to do. This time I have accepted it will take as long as it takes but I am not happy!
Really should put in Zilch here – however I find I have managed small something’s
Have begun NaNoEdMo – behind by 2 days but comfortable – this part is the spell/word check – repeated words/ phrases sweep, so no great creativity needed.
Kept up, just, with triberr
Revisited the pictorial element of Ellen’s Tale trailer after a month away and find I am more than pleased with it so last night began to time the music to fit in.
Not planning goals for the coming week as I really don’t know how I will feel. But in between sleeping I have the editing, trailer music and 2 new workshops with savvy authors to play around with.
I hope everyone had a great week and are happy with their goal keeping