2012 was a very bad year for me from the point of view of writing. Illness in the form of heart failure overwhelmed, and I found with the lowering of the pressure of blood through my body and brain, coherent thought vanished and took with it, as a companion, Creativity. It did not however invite Imagination along.
From fairly decent word counts my output plummeted. Reduced to a wreck of a person who spent about 14 to 16 hours a day on my bed, either sleeping or just being, while the doctors sorted me out. Luckily for my sanity Imagination had stayed behind to keep me company. Imagination, allowed free rein without any daily task distractions, leapt into action, The Ancestor’s Tale, which I had abadoned abruptly mid write , was taken apart by Imagination who rummaged and jumbled around, putting all back together again, in a far better order. In my small moments of coherence I was quite excited at the fresh sparkle an unfettered Imagination could put on, what I had imagined to be, a done deal. There were new plotlines, new incidents, and new characters, and among these new characters a future short story was born!
I polished this newness in my head, made the odd note so as not to forget. Replayed the words again and again but there was no energy, physically, to write. I invited a Dragon into help me (speech recognition software) and I managed to dictate words. Dragon allows me to dictate 3000 words per hour; this was about all the time I could actually sit up. But I found I couldn’t dictate those new sparkly words for The Ancestor’s Tale, they fled every time I tried. I put them to one side and concentrated on keeping my blogs reasonably up-to-date, began a new fantasy in NaNo, tidied up my collection of reworked fairy tales and wondered if those new sparkly words would ever see the light of day.
I am reasonably okay now, I do not need to sleep more than an hour during the day, I can walk the dog and am beginning to clear the chaos of an ‘un-houseworked for seven months’ house.
I set the beginning of 2013 as my start date to complete The Ancestor’s Tale. My fear is, that all those wonderful new ideas born of Imagination will always stay in my brain and never be transferred to the page. A new year should be a hopeful time so I intend to sit down and begin dictating, with fingers crossed. Maybe, now that I have had a rest over the festivities, done other things non-writing related, I might be able to reconstruct my sparkly words.
People say comforting things such as ‘If you fall off a horse get back on’, ‘You never forget how to ride a bicycle’, and so I have to believe, even if it’s a faint belief, that I can still write.
This is a part of a blog hop, an Insecure Writers Support Group- click on the badge above to visit and reassure others:)