Can sparkly words be rescued?: Insecure Writers

2012 was a very bad year for me from the point of view of writing. Illness in the form of heart failure overwhelmed, and I found with the lowering of the pressure of blood through my body and brain, coherent thought vanished and took with it, as a companion, Creativity. It did not however invite Imagination along.

From fairly decent word counts my output plummeted. Reduced to a wreck of a person who spent about 14 to 16 hours a day on my bed, either sleeping or just being, while the doctors sorted me out. Luckily for my sanity Imagination had stayed behind to keep me company. Imagination, allowed free rein without any daily task distractions, leapt into action,  The Ancestor’s Tale, which I had abadoned abruptly mid write , was taken apart by Imagination who rummaged and jumbled around,  putting all back together again, in a far better order. In my small moments of coherence I was quite excited at the fresh sparkle an unfettered Imagination could put on, what I had imagined to be, a done deal. There were new plotlines, new incidents, and new characters, and among these new characters a future short story was born!

I polished this newness in my head, made the odd note so as not to forget. Replayed the words again and again but there was no energy, physically, to write. I invited a Dragon into help me (speech recognition software) and I managed to dictate words. Dragon allows me to dictate 3000 words per hour; this was about all the time I could actually sit up. But I found I couldn’t dictate those new sparkly words for The Ancestor’s Tale, they fled every time I tried. I put them to one side and concentrated on keeping my blogs reasonably up-to-date, began a new fantasy in NaNo, tidied up my collection of reworked fairy tales and wondered if those new sparkly words would ever see the light of day.

I am reasonably okay now, I do not need to sleep more than an hour during the day, I can walk the dog and am beginning to clear the chaos of an ‘un-houseworked for seven months’ house.

I set the beginning of 2013 as my start date to complete The Ancestor’s Tale. My fear is, that all those wonderful new ideas born of Imagination will always stay in my brain and never be transferred to the page.  A new year should be a hopeful time so I intend to sit down and begin dictating, with fingers crossed. Maybe, now that I have had a rest over the festivities, done other things non-writing related, I might be able to reconstruct my sparkly words.

People say comforting things such as ‘If you fall off a horse get back on’, ‘You never forget how to ride a bicycle’, and so I have to believe, even if it’s a faint belief, that I can still write.

This is a part of a blog hop, an Insecure Writers Support Group- click on the badge above to visit and reassure others:)

23 thoughts on “Can sparkly words be rescued?: Insecure Writers

  1. Julie Glover says:

    Your perseverance is inspiring, Alberta! Pulling for you to have a great year in 2013!!!

  2. I’m so sorry you had such an awful year last year (((((hugs)))))

    All the best for 2013 honey and good luck!


  3. kaye draper says:

    I agree with a previous commenter: you have nothing for which to be insecure! With such strength and willpower, you can do anything!
    I’m so glad you’re feeling better now, and hope you continue to recover. It kind of puts all of our little worries into perspective!
    Best of luck for your health and for all your writing endeavors 8>

    • alberta says:

      Little worries can sap energy as much as large – thank you for kind words – it is encouragment from like minded folk that make a difference – wonderful place for it this cyberspace:) all the best for your 2013:)

  4. Pat says:

    Sorry, spelling mistakes abound. fingers got out of the habit during the holiday. But I applaud you anyway – I can still make my hands clap. :-)

  5. Pat says:

    Amazing story – keep writing. You should so much determination there is nothing about you that should be insecure.

  6. Jan Morrison says:

    Hey alberta – you made it to a meeting so that is a good thing! I’ve had a shifty year too – maybe not so bad as yours – hard to weigh – but I am getting back on the horse again – sorry to use that cliche but as an old horse rider it suits! Glad you are on again!

    • alberta says:

      I rode for a while a few decades ago – old clich works for me – sorry you have had a bad year – we’ll ride into a gloriuos sunset of happy endings together eh? or maybe not – who knows – thamks for words much appreciated

  7. Congratulations on getting through that tough year! And Hooray for Imagination!!!! Dragon is a great program.
    You can do it! You can write that book.

  8. Nancy Reece says:

    Congrats on surviving a harsh year. I know this year will be much better. And I am glad your muse came to keep you company during those dark days. Happy 2013!

  9. Sorry to hear of your health struggles! I hope you’ll find the break to be productive. Some of my best inspirations have come when I’ve been ripped away from my writing by life’s trials and responsibilities. (It’s why I keep little note pads all over the house. LOL)

    Welcome to the group!
    IWSG #137 until Alex culls the list again.

    • alberta says:

      Yes I got culled – had to put myself back – I guess I missed to many:) not to worry I don’t intend to be culled again- notebooks are our saviours aren’t they?

  10. joylene says:

    I’m rejoicing with you, Alberta. Here’s wishing you a much healthier and happier 2013. I look forward to getting to know you. Happy New Year and happy IWSG!

  11. I’m glad you still feel this way about writing. It is magical isn’t it. I might have to check Dragon out myself to be honest.

    I think you have the sparkle inside you and there’s no getting away from it. You can absolutely do this, even if it takes a little time.

    • alberta says:

      Dragon is so good – mind it is a tussel sometimes to make it accept my odd way of writing – thinks I should speak modern up to date board-room English! – But it learns and hardly any mistakes now – tho’ it had a problem this morning – quite funny watching it trying to make sense of some fantasy:)

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