This last week I went on a trip to watch behind the scenes of our local town’s CCTV cameras – really interesting, hypnotic not sure I could sit there for a 8 hours shift watching but guess one gets used to it. Discovered our village was on it as well. I knew we had had two CCTV cameras installed, but not realised we had been included in the town’s set up.
Because those wretched heart pills are darkening my hair:( I had an extra colour put into the rapidly diminishing grey this week so now my fringe is turquoise, fuchsia pink and violet. The extra has helped set of the colours, very bright at moment especially in the sunshine:)
I have had a week of very little writing, and none at all on fiction which is becoming a little of a worry. Looking back it was August when I reported I had 20,000 words approx still to write for The Children’s Tale, even at a snail’s pace I should have managed that. So what has it been about my life that has changed and hit the fiction muse on the head?
Stuff has happened, my friend dying for one, however at my age friends die, part and parcel of aging. I have had the all clear from the cancer clinic that’s a positive isn’t it? New pills seem to have battened down the pain, that’s good too yes?
The new pills though are not pain killers, they are anti- depressants. I have struggled with clinical depression for a year now, in the past I have not had any attacks that have lasted so long. I have had many years of what I call potholes, of depression, but always have managed to keep at bay any everyday occurrence of it. So I kept on hoping this last too would sort itself out. Maybe it was the last illness, maybe the lack of sunshine, maybe a shortage of Vit D – in the end I knew I would have to go and see about it.
Depression is depressing.
I had given it a year and I was exhausted from it. The stress couldn’t be taken away,my history over the last 14 years couldn’t be erased, so I figured the only way was to resort to pills. These were the one’s that miraculously killed the almost constant pain I was in. Fanbloodytastic:)
I began the pills at the end of August.
So my question is can ‘happy pills’ smother creativity? I began writing during a period of high stress when I was nursing my mother through years of illness. I continued writing all five books through all my own various illnesses and operations. I have never in all that time had a block such as this one. I can write reviews and blogs. Where has my fiction gone? Have the pills done it in? Did I need the pain and stress to write? If so, do I give up the ‘happy pills’ and just get on with it? Does anyone know? Do any of you know of something similar among your friends and family? Is it the anti depressants?or is of a similar nature to the time I lost my books?
And what of Nano? Well that will be the test I guess.
ROW80: THIS WEEK
As this was officially one of my reading weeks I haven’t done much writing. Had to do a piece on grandparents for the memoir group I belong too. They were born in the 1860/70s, lived with me as a child, and here I am 140 years from their birth, living in such a different world.
Sorted the next installment of The Storyteller’s Tale. Posted a review on Snow Child (and have a couple more drafted,) posted another episode of my self publishing journey. Have a couple of posts drafted for kissafrog and Sefuty Chronicles.
Are reading two huge books at the moment hoping to finish them both by mid week. Finished book club book, The Great Silence:Britain from the Shadow of the First World War to the Dawn of the Jazz Age by Juliet Nicolson and also Eucalyptus by Murray Bell. However most of my reading this week has been recipe books and wildflower gardening:)
Managed networking, not enough.
Just about keeping up with workshops, think I over extended myself there:)
Still de-cluttering machines and moving files
Hope everyone is having fun and all the best for coming week:)